oh believe me sweetie. i'll sit there all night and watch you twirl the pipe in your fingers. i'll lay there and watch you shoot unit after unit into your arm. your twice as fucking beautiful when your high.

 

they say to face what your afraid of_so i'm facing my memories and finally admitting what it is that i can't let go off. i miss standing outside for half the night giggling and stealing kisses when people wern't looking. i miss sitting up on the phone for hours_and the "i love you" that we always ended the conversation with. i miss picking him up from school every day. i even miss searching for change to buy _just one more sparks_ cause we wern't drunk enough. i miss his silly voices_and laughing at him till i couldn't breathe. i miss when he gets angry and wants to defend something_the face he gets is so precious. i miss the answering machine's he used to make me. i miss sharing cigarettes and shotglasses. i even miss his OCD_my car was always clean and organized. if someone had told me; in the beginning he'd walk away_i'd have done it anyways. (i'd do it all again)